I ended my bible study today. Several months ago, I began to feel that the truth was not the truth. As the months progressed, my feelings intensified. I wanted to end the study but did not know how.
Somehow, I ended the bible study today. During the study, I felt that my bible study conductor was criticizing other religions and that she was drilling into me that the Jehovah Witness religion was the true religion. I was also being questioned as to whether I believed the Jehovah Witness religion to be the one true religion.
I told my bible study conductor that the purpose of a study was to progress to baptism and that I was not progressing.
Although the ending of the study needed to be done, I do feel guilt and sadness. Ending the study was not easy to do and I felt like crying. I also feel a little lost and wonder how I can move forward. I dedicated more than two years of my life to studying, going to the weekend meetings, going to the weekday meetings, going to the assemblies and conventions.
I know that Jehovah Witnesses are not supposed to have friends who are not witnesses. However, I viewed my bible study conductor as a friend, I confided in her and I trusted her.
I do want to have a relationship with God and I want to grow closer to him. However, I still feel that the truth is not the truth.